Perfectionism: help or hindrance?

Like the rest of the country, I've been watching The Last Dance on Netflix. The documentary about Michael Jordan and his basketball team, the Chicago Bulls, brings to light some of the extreme personality types that can occupy the world of professional sport. Perfectionism can be a bit of a buzzword sometimes. It’s that classic interview question response: “What’s your biggest weakness?” “Oh I can be a bit of a perfectionist” (snooze…). People often associate it with being diligent, conscientious, working hard to get things right; all positive attributes. But there can be a darker side to it that people rarely talk about, or acknowledge, but that has been studied quite extensively, particularly in relation to sport.

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So, let’s get the boring, educational bit out of the way first. From an academic standpoint, perfectionism can be characterised by perfectionistic strivings and perfectionistic concerns (1). Perfectionistic strivings can be thought of the positive, adaptive kind of perfectionism, characterised by high personal standards, and self-oriented perfectionism with a focus on effort over outcome, and a conscientious personality (1). Perfectionistic concerns, on the other hand, relates to the maladaptive kind; concerns over mistakes, excessive focus on the outcome of an event, and an increased likelihood to perceive a stressor as a threat rather than a challenge (2). As a result, athletes high in perfectionistic concerns are more likely to perceive support from coaches or teammates as a pressure, and therefore respond in an overly self-critical way. They also are more likely to avoid situations they perceive to be challenging because of avoidant-coping styles associated with perfectionistic concerns (2).

Perfectionism for me has manifested in a number of ways. When I was swimming, I rarely acknowledged my accomplishments, or took the time to celebrate them. For me they were a means to an end, a stepping stone towards my larger goal of making the Olympics. And they absolutely were, but that didn’t mean they didn’t deserve celebrating. “It’s still not where I want to be, it’s not enough”, I’d tell myself. I’d glaze over them, would keep them secret from my friends who would tell me off after finding out from the school what I’d been up to at the weekend (who would find out from my mum). Bad sessions would consume me until I ‘made up for it’ with an amazing one. And if I did have a bad session, you sure as hell would know about it because I’d be a moody git for the rest of the day (admittedly this hasn’t changed much unfortunately). Everything had to be right. My coach used to make me write down everything I had achieved in swimming to make me appreciate how far I’d come. I’d do the task and think it was cool whilst I did it but that feeling never lasted long; the next goal always took over. It’s only now I’ve quit and properly look back at what I achieved that I can genuinely think, “wow, I can’t believe I did all that”. It feels like a different life.

In these current times and with CrossFit, it’s a little different. I now make a conscious effort to celebrate my little training wins, despite how difficult this can be when I scroll through Instagram to see someone repping the weight I’ve just maxed out at. In some senses I’ve learnt from my experiences, but I still find myself spending a disproportionate amount of time thinking about training. I’ll finish a WOD and be dead, but wonder if I could have cut out a few seconds here or there, or whether I could have rested less between movements, or done bigger sets. If it wasn’t a great session, I’m disappointed, even if it was the best I could give that day. These obsessive thoughts were a lot more prevalent in the first few weeks of lockdown and I’m starting to get used to them. Actually, I find myself being a little more forgiving of myself the further into lockdown we get. Like everyone says, these literally are unprecedented times. There is a lot that we are dealing with psychologically right now. They are not the conditions to be having incredible sessions every single day.

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So, you’re also a perfectionist. What can you do to help deal with the high standards you set for yourself?

1 – Focus on the effort, rather than the end result. Some days you only feel 7/10. But if you give 10/10 on a 7/10 day, there’s not much more you can ask of yourself. It’s a case of learning that the 10/10 effort is enough given the rest of what you’re going through at that point in time. This is where process goals can help. Setting goals for the session that aren’t related to a certain overall outcome can help you gain some feeling of achievement even on these 7/10 days.

2 – Practice self-compassion. I know this sounds wishy-washy, and it’s something I hate about psychology, but unfortunately, it’s important. Self-compassion interventions have been found to help manage self-criticism, and concern over mistakes (3). We are not going to produce mind-blowing lifts, or workout times every time we train. And that’s okay. You might be in a particularly heavy training cycle, or in need of a deload. For females, it might be that your menstrual cycle is playing a part here (this is worth tracking to look for individual trends in the effect on training). But remember that you have no obligation to anyone to be on your absolute best form all the time; it’s your own expectations that you are holding yourself to. Allow yourself the space to not be on top form 24/7. It’s okay.

3 – Rationalise your beliefs. Often people high in perfectionistic concerns can relate their worth in the eyes of self and others’ to be based on unrealistic perfectionistic standards (4, 5). The danger with this is that they feel worthless when they don’t meet up to them, often thinking that their coach, friends, and loved ones will think differently of them if they don’t achieve x or y. Challenge yourself to rationalise these thoughts. What actually is the likelihood of these people rejecting you if you don’t achieve what you want? What evidence do you have to support this? What evidence do you have to challenge this? Try to re-evaluate your beliefs based on the available evidence.

Perfectionism can be consuming and debilitating, or it can be useful. Make sure that yours is working in your favour.

References

1 - Stoeber, J., & Otto, K. (2006). Positive conceptions of perfectionism: Approaches, evidence, challenges. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 10(4), 295-319.

2 - Crocker, P. R., Gaudreau, P., Mosewich, A. D., & Kljajic, K. (2014). Perfectionism and the stress process in intercollegiate athletes: Examining the 2× 2 model of perfectionism in sport competition. International Journal of Sport Psychology, 45(4), 61-84.

3 - Mosewich, A. D., Crocker, P. R., Kowalski, K. C., & DeLongis, A. (2013). Applying self-compassion in sport: An intervention with women athletes. Journal of Sport and Exercise Psychology, 35(5), 514-524.

4 - DiBartolo, P. M., Frost, R. O., Chang, P., LaSota, M., & Grills, A. E. (2004). Shedding light on the relationship between personal standards and psychopathology: The case for contingent self-worth. Journal of Rational-Emotive and Cognitive-Behavior Therapy, 22(4), 237-250.

5 - Lundh, L. G. (2004). Perfectionism and acceptance. Journal of rational-emotive and cognitive-behavior therapy, 22(4), 251-265.