The “I’ll start when”s, the New Years Resolutions, the diets. Why do we start with good intentions and so rarely follow through? Why do we set such ambitious targets, only to let ourselves down at the first challenge? And yet there are those who come across as constantly motivated. So what is the difference? Why do some thrive and some fall?
Before I go into anything else I’ll address the two most common reasons:
They don’t mean enough for you to commit to making the small, consistent changes it takes to get the results you want e.g. saying no to dessert or another class of wine sometimes.
Your goal is unrealistic, or has an unrealistic timeline e.g. someone who has a sketchy pull up but wants to learn a bar muscle up…in a month.
But provided your goals do not come under these two categories, let’s evaluate.
Take the common goal of weight loss. Many people make some kind of new years resolution relating to their weight, or some kind of health/fitness related goal.
“I want to lose a stone”
“I’m going to start going to the gym 4x a week”
The bad thing about these goals is that they are completely arbitrary.
Why do you want to lose a stone? Why do you want to start going to the gym 4x a week? This represents the first common issue of goal setting. There’s no emotional attachment to it.
So what do we do?
1. Find your WHY.
What does your goal mean to you? Why do you want to achieve it? This can often mean some difficult conversations with yourself, particularly when the topic is weight loss. Wanting to lose weight often comes from a place of insecurity, and that can be a hard thing to admit to yourself, or to others who may be able to help keep you on track with your goals. You may want your clothes to fit better, to feel more comfortable in certain situations, or to have more success with potential partners (I am by no means saying here that losing weight will directly achieve any of these things. I think this mentality is something to be addressed on its own, but they are frequently cited as reasons people want to lose weight). These are important things to admit to yourself. But they’re not comfortable.
For me, my why in sport is because it’s part of my identity. I’ve always been sporty, and always strived to be the best in whatever sport I’m taking part in at the time. In a recent blog I spoke about types of motivational regulation. For sport, I largely fall under the integrated and intrinsic regulation – it’s part of who I am, but equally, I genuinely enjoy training. And for whatever reason, I feel like unless I’m really good at something, it’s not an interesting thing to talk about, and I feel the need to prove myself. I have this underlying need to be great at something so I have something to talk about, something that is interesting about myself. Now, I know that this is an unjustified and potentially detrimental view, but for whatever reason, it’s a belief I hold for myself (note: not for anyone else). So for my goal of a 100kg clean and jerk, my why is that, not only is it a milestone lift, but it’s also an indication that I’m getting better; that my strength, the lowest hanging fruit in the sport of fitness, is improving. As an athlete, I’m getting closer to where I want to be and that means a lot for me. As soon as you attach that emotional connection, we gain greater traction on the behaviours needed to achieve the goal. This brings me onto my next point.
2. Identify your barriers
Lots of people identify a goal, but aren’t aware or willing to do what it takes to get there. Ultimately, we have to remove or reduce the barriers as much as possible in order to increase the likelihood of us achieving the goal. For instance, if my goal were to lose weight, but I wasn’t willing to change my nutritional habits to get there, I’d be unsuccessful in any attempts. For my goal of a 100kg C&J, the desire is all there. My key barrier is an injury which disrupts any solid block of training, so I am putting in the work to make sure that I am as bulletproof as possible. For others, their barrier may be time, or at least perceived time. This brings me onto my final point.
3. Fill in the gaps
What do you need to do to get over those barriers? For weight loss, if a barrier was that you feel left out every time you go for food because everyone gets dessert and you want to join, could you share a dessert? I know…I don’t share food either. But it’s a compromise that gives you a little of what you want. Or, could you suggest cooking for your friends sometimes so you get the social element whilst also saving your finances and your macros?
With my example, I’ve invested in a program that I believe will help me to improve my movement mechanics and keep me injury free. For the example of time, if you go to bed an hour earlier, can you fit in what you need to before work? Does this allow you to split your session into 2, meaning you get everything done?
“But Lucy, I’m tired in the mornings”
Oh hunni, I feel you. This is where habits come in. This is a behaviour that might help you reach your end goal, so we need to make it require as little thought as possible. It won’t happen overnight. But this is the end goal - creating small habits that keep you on track with your goals. Is the fact that you even have to choose your clothes in the morning a factor that contributes to you staying in bed? Okay then, let’s get those clothes out the night before. Then without thinking, you get out of bed, put them on, grab your pre-made breakfast (another potential barrier) and get out of the door.
Ultimately, motivation is fluctuating. But the good news is, you don’t need to be motivated all the time, you need to be disciplined. You need to realise that motivation is not going to get you out of bed on a cold, dark morning, habit will. Motivation isn’t going to get you to do the boring prehab that will make you a better, injury-free athlete, habit will. And motivation isn’t going to get you to make the sensible nutrition choices (80% of the time cos, yanno, living), habit will. By doing these things because little by little, they will get us to our why. They will get us to our Games.
As soon as we realise that our goals come from the accumulation of small, sustainable habits, motivation becomes a myth.