The 'Follow Back' Dilemma

I don’t know about you, but the culture around social media amongst CrossFitters is an interesting one. Every man, woman, and their dog posts any and all training on their feed. PB? Here's my video from 10 different angles. Thank you to my mum, dad, coach, sponsors, and neighbour’s cat for helping me get here #HWPO. Bad day? Have a list of reasons why I was SUPER resilient and will turn this into a positive experience!!! Got a savage workout? Encourage everyone to go off programme, give it a go and end themselves!!!

I don't know about you, but I find that it can be an exhausting place to be.

I recognise that I am guilty of this on occasion. But I try to make a conscious effort to show all sides - the good things, yes, but also the things I’m struggling with, what’s going on in my head, and how I’m trying to make sense of things. I hope that context stops me coming across as a wannabe ‘influencer’ spouting toxic positivity, and helps people to resonate with what I'm saying.

With the Open coming, Instagram is almost worse than normal, and that’s what prompted this post. It’s like the CrossFit world gets split into two. On the one side, there are those who feel ready, and excited, posting a countdown of the days until we get the ‘ultimate test of fitness’, and as a result, stirring up the feelings of fear that the Open brings in me. But on the other, we get the people that have posted their training religiously, even throughout the lockdowns, piping up with their self-handicapping and excuses.

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What’s self-handicapping? I’ll explain.

Self-handicapping is essentially when someone provides a reason for their poor performance, BEFORE they have actually competed. For instance, “I had a really hard session yesterday. My legs are in bits and I can barely walk”, or, posting a picture of a mug of Lemsip the morning of the first Open WOD (read: not feeling too good this morning so I’m not going to do well on this one). They are essentially providing an excuse for their poor performance before it happens. If they do well, it’s a case of “oh look how well I did, overcoming these factors to produce a great performance”. But if they don’t, they’ve already provided the context and reason to justify it. They did as was expected. It’s a self-protection mechanism, stemming from an underlying fear of failure (which is incredibly common btw).

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Anyway, back to the point. I’ve become very selective about who I follow on Instagram. That can sometimes be problematic in the world of CrossFit. Everyone follows everyone. When you go to a competition, you are already following half the people. Then the other half, the people that you’ve spoken to, or not, will likely follow you afterwards. Fine. I don’t mind that. I do, however, mind the obligation I then feel to follow them back so as not to appear rude. I don’t want someone to think that just because I don’t immediately follow them back, I don’t like them! But, unfortunately, that is what a follow-back represents these days. It’s like some kind of mutual acceptance. My problem comes with the impact that the follow back has on me. I generally don’t like seeing people that aren’t the elite of the sport on my social media, unless they’re my close friends. I’ll be totally honest; it stresses me out. I look at their lifts, and think “they’re much stronger than me”, or I’ll look at their gassy WODs and think “they’re catching me up”. It’s just not something that I like to feel bombarded with on a regular basis. So I follow back (to appease the social norm gods), but I mute them, so they don’t show up on my timeline. I’m not sorry about that. I’ll do what I have to, to protect myself and stop the comparison.

So, I think my takeaway message here, ranting aside, is that if your social media stresses you out, recognise your triggers. Ask yourself why, and what it is about this person, this post, this place, that makes you react negatively? Remember that YOU cultivate your timeline. For a lot of us, it’s a place that we spend a lot of our time, particularly in lockdown, so be selfish. And make sure that it’s a place that SERVES you and your goals. Your friends will understand.

What are your thoughts? How do you manage your Instagram to make it a healthy place for you to be?

Let me know!